No Romance

Hey, it's  been a while~! On to the good stuff.

One of the most prominent reasons in my love for Abu Dhabi is the public transportation system. Specifically speaking-- the public buses. Cheap, efficient, and will take you wherever you want, what more could a city dweller with places to go ask for?


On one of these buses, the one I used every morning to go to work, I saw her.

Cropped dark hair underneath a navy colored cap, large black sunglasses, a security guard uniform, and a pair of polished men’s shoes topped off by a men’s golden watch—I was smitten.

Every day for a couple of months before I had the courage to clumsily hand her my number in an awkward little note with an inelegant ‘Call me?’ scribbled underneath the digits, I would steal glimpses at her, playing scenes in my head about how I’d approach her, how we’d converse, how we’d hit it up right away and become a couple. Mundane events like going to the movies, or going out for ice cream, or to a restaurant for a nice dinner all became so much more enticingly fun and romantic in my head.

It was impossible to get close to her. When the bus would reach our bus stop, the seat next to her would already be occupied, and as more and more people would get on, the minute it was empty someone else filled it. That was the dance till the moment she got off at her stop.

That’s only half the truth, though, as although I thought about her nonstop, I was too cowardly to approach her. I wasn’t confident; ‘will she like me?’ I thought. ‘What if she doesn’t find me attractive? What if she rejects me? ‘

And so the ‘Aww, shucks, the seat next to my snazzy-love-interest-who-doesn’t-know-I-like-her-from-afar is occupied! I can’t speak to her, I guess!’ excuse worked well for me.

One day I decided to gather my inner courage and attempt to sit next to her and start a conversation. Instead of rushing in to find a seat before they were all taken as was my want, I simply waited patiently for all the women to file in and take all the free seats in the women’s section of the bus. I went in last, and stood strategically behind my object of fascination. Unfortunately, the woman next to my target got off at a place not so far from my target’s stop. So when I sat next to her, I had to control the pounding in my ears quickly and get to the point. I did talk to her, and it was the first and last time we spoke in person. She was in her seat nodding off slightly as usual when I go her attention with an ‘excuse me’. She looked at me startled and I asked her where she worked. She answered. Her voice was surprisingly soft and she seemed shy. She asked me why I would want to know. I said ‘Oh, no reason’ and then her stop came and she got off.

For a long while I was content with obsessing about that dull exchange of words. I turned and tossed at night, replaying every move and sound leading up to her quietly taking her leave.

The turning point came when I was going to be moved to another office, and so due to the different routes would have had to start taking a different bus. In the beginning, for a very short instant, I was devising ways to take the same bus as her and then get off somewhere where I would take a second bus to work. Then it hit me how fraking creepy that was. As I had no desire to become reach an ever lower level of creepiness than I already had, I made up my mind to approach her directly.

When the moment of truth came, on my last ride on the same bus as her, I chickened out, of course. I wanted to talk, but my brain was empty and I could not think of a single thing to say. I wasn’t sitting next to her and wasn’t trying to, as well. As her stop drew near, it was now or never, and inspiration hit. I tore a piece of paper from god knows where and scribbled my number with a simple message underneath: ‘Call me’.

But even then I was nervous, ‘Call me.’ Seemed so bossy and domineering. So I tore off another piece and wrote ‘Call me~?’, but this too seemed overly friendly and slightly spoiled bratty what with the wavy dash and all. When I finally settled on a simple, unpresumptuous ‘Call me?’ she was already getting ready to get off. My heart went wild, my chest burned, my vision was spotted with blinking stars… but I gave her my note. In awkward, clumsy, uninspired movements, I went 'excuse me', handed over the paper and then quickly turned away from her as she, befuddled but having to move, got down at her stop.

I would later learn that she couldn’t even take a look at my face. That’s how sonic the hedgehog frantic I was.

It also turned to be a blessing in disguise, as my first attempt at romance went miserably wrong.


To Be Continued!



Next Post: Butch lesbian Strangers with Candy! Happily Never After! Part 2!!

Introductions and Re-introductions~! Let's Roll With It!

I'm a lesbian. Blah, blah, blah. I don't feel ashamed and have never really struggled with the issue. Blah, blah, blah.

Why was my fist post in Arabic (which I have deleted) so farking earnest? Was it the inconnent naive part of me hard at work?

Oh, well, a snippet about me:

Name: Snafu (really, it is!)
Age: 23 (oh, to be 22 again...)
Sexual Orientation: Lesbo
Nationality: It's Complicated
Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady, minus the cats.
In the Closet: Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Out to Anyone: One of my sisters and she doesn't care (thank you Allah!)
Height: Hobbit
Weight: Working on it, dammit!!! Jillian Michaels promised me I'll be shredded by the end of the 30 day shred! You'll see!

La la la. What else? Oh, my ring finger is longer than my index, so science supports the scientific fact that I am a short fat dyke.

 

A short fat dyke with very ambitios plans for this blog.
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...
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Alright, seriously here, I intend to not only write about me and my days as a lesbo in a 'Dear Diary' styla-nanah, I also plan to do other things. Other things that I will let you in at, uh, some other time.
In the meantime, enjoy mah drawing! Don't mind the unrealistic dimensions and lolipop head! (I draw like that because I am a preteen girl at heart).

Next Post: Butch Lesbian Strangers with Candy! Happily Never After!

Switching to English - Starting Over

Ok, for me, typing in Arabic takes ages, and so as I have taught myself to touch type in English (yes, and it has taken me ages to do that! And I did it all on my own! I'm not sure if it's coming across, but I am very proud of this accomplishment! Goal for Ramadan is going from 30 wpm to 50!) and could use the practice (while having fun blogging too!)I have decided to just go with what makes my life easier and comes more naturally and start blogging in English.

I should be ashamed of myself, I know. Yes I am an Arab, yeah I was born, raised and am currently living in an Arab country, yup I have attended public schools and an all girls university with alot of the other Arabs I know. It's like after all that, blogging in English is sort of pretentious. But the sanity of my fingers is at stake, and dammit, there's no need to get all dramatic about the language used in the blog of a nobody!

Another reason for the switching is that- and I am ashamed to touch type the following because it is just that lame- I have been feeling kinda smug about my "Very Good English". I won't lie or pretend here. Thing is, one of the foreign peeps at work complimented my written English today and was all 'WOW, YOU HAVE VERY GOOD WRITTEN ENGLISH! WHERE DID YOU STUDY?'

Others would find the implication insulting, as in "why are you so excited, huh??? What, you thought I was stupid, is that it???!!! That only a person who learned in some fancy, shmancy, with an American/British/Canadian/German/Other-Western-Country-We-Love-to-Hate-and/or-Hate-to-Love-and/or-Love-to-Love-and/or-Feel-Smug-About-Because-if-it's-Western-it-is-Always-Better-you-Backwards-Peasents! curriculum could ever have good written English, right??? How DARE you!!! Be-gone, Imperialist!"

But I tend to give people the benefit of doubt, because I'm like that. Sometimes.

 

Now that I have explained myself, I will be renovating, fixing, revamping-- simply put, starting over! Yay!

(not that there's much to begin with... but fark the details!)

Next Post: Re-Introduction! Meet Defender of Alternitivia, Bubble-Gum Magical Bunny Girl Snafu!